Friday, May 8, 2015

Getting Through the Week

This week at school has been one of ups and downs. I was invited to attend in a Senior Presentation  wherein a student who has been working for me  in the program I direct was to discuss impact of the program on students. This is my first year as Director, so I have been feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. I have gone out of my way to help the student gather data, and she has gone out of her way to help the previous Director gather data for his report to our Accrediting Service.  When I went in to the Presentation, the room was full of many of my students--they have all had me for Latin, and I love them. I was glad to get to see their presentations. When it came time for my student to give hers, I have to say it was unquestionably the best one. She spoke without notes, with authority and with a fabulous powerpoint presentation. But she also sliced and diced the program, basically dismissing it as a "joke" in the view of the students. The goal of the program is to measure the students' world view each year of their tenure with us. It is not in and of itself designed to change the world view, but to measure how the courses may be changing their worldview. We were held up for ridicule. I think it would be impossible to not take it personally. I believe in the program, and I had believed strongly in this young lady.  As soon as I could, I left.
My heart is broken--the program was misrepresented. Had I any idea that her presentation was going to be such a surgical character assassination of the program, I would NEVER have attended. 
I went to my office and typed up a list of measures to address some of the issues mentioned, and then went to see my boss.  He soothed my ruffled feathers.
Being with hubby and my family helped more than I can say.
The Lord has been dealing with me, making me confront the fact that I don't forgive. This is my test, and so far, I am not doing well. 
To encourage me, the Lord's servant, my friend Janice, sent me  a beautiful  card with an even more lovely devotion enclosed.  I believe the timing was Supernatural as she did not know about what had happened.  As you can see from the tone of this post, I am far from resolving my forgiveness issues, but I feel a bit closer. 

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